Today was Shopping Day. Shopping Day (now SD) looms towards you like the shadow of an angry Triffid. Intent on ruining each day that has accidentally leant up against it. It has the power to entirely alter the mood of you and everyone who surrounds you. Its evil and sultry ways have the habit of transforming you mentally and physically into a crazed, irrational, creeping, sleuthing, miserly punk. Aha! Punk. That works well here.
I feel to describe SD would be about as interesting as a grow your own whelk contest...although thinking about it probably no where near as stimulating as a whelk penis comparison competition...I digress. I am currently surrounded by plastic bags. These bags are full of things I do not need, do not like, cannot afford and are highly offensive to most human beings and whelks.
However, there is light at the end of the rack. For those of you, like me, who enjoy looking good and feeling cool but rarely do then I have a solution. There no longer needs to be an illogical, grand piano of dread wound around your intestines at the thought of locking elbows with The Retail Witch. Why waste sweat doing something as dull as shopping when you could use sweat doing much more exciting and satisfying activities (we're all thinking boodie boarding right?).
PLAN.
Simple yet effective.
If you can't shop and you can't dress, at least plan which bad outfit you are going to buy in advance. Head down, elbows out, grab items, go home. Get sweaty with a Triffid. Who's the punk now?
